“The best kind of friendships are fierce lady friendships where you aggressively believe in each other, defend each other, and think the other deserves the world.”
I have learned so much about friendship over the last couple of years. Friendship is not easy, if I’m being honest. I mean, yeah sometimes it is. But a friendship, like any relationship, requires work, give-and-take, priority for it to work. Once I moved last year, I really began to understand that.
I used to never work at friendships. I had tons of friends and would just float around to whoever was close; I would switch out my friends depending on what was convenient for me. I think I had begun this unhealthy patten because I had grown close to some people and was really hurt by all of them. I put a wall up and was just done with anyone getting close to me.
Once I was in a relationship with Christ, though, I realized how important community and fellowship were, especially with other women! Not only did I need encouragement and prayer, but I needed to share that with others and learn to show grace and mercy like I was shown.
Several of the girls I first became close with, I’ll admit, I’m not friends with them now. I believe it takes a while to develop and maintain healthy friendships. When I first decided to invest in friendships, I was still healing myself… I entered into friendships with no boundaries, where I was either being used somehow or I was trying to be there for someone, but I didn’t know how to do that without putting expectations on the other person.
It took me a solid year to really make some good girlfriends! I’m so thankful for my core group of girls- they are so amazing! Since moving I have learned to accept that there will be ups and downs since communication naturally requires more work from six hours away. But the girls that have stuck by me through this have made it all worth it. Getting angry or sad and near tears, going through super happy and exciting times; I love that we get to go through this time together. I also think the honesty and growth in my friendships have gotten deeper because of the move and the effort needed to maintain the relationships.
All of this to say, when you find your people, DON’T let them go! Hold them close to your heart and treasure the memories you have with them! Lots of things that seem permanent in life are actually temporary and will come and go, but good girlfriends are a gift that will be with you forever. I don’t know what life would be like without my girls and I hope I never find out! Love you all to pieces!
9 Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labor:
10 If either of them falls down,
one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
and has no one to help them up.
11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
12 Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.