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I honestly have no words to describe what I am feeling. I am so upset. I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt and chance after chance to prove their words to be true.

There is a situation in my life right now that has left me so shocked and in disbelief. I have seen so much manipulation and lies over the last few months, I don’t even know what to think.

Love is not a feeling. Love is an action. Love is putting someone else above yourself, in a healthy way, of course. Love is not selfish. Love is not greedy. Love is taking time and spending money for the benefit of someone else. Love is looking at the future instead of dwelling on the moments of today.

When I see someone that is fragile, weak, and unable to make decisions being hustled, pretty much, I really want to punch those people doing it. It’s amazing that people who have no concept of money or responsibilities feel they have a “say” in someone else’s life… Actually draining that person dry through many forms.

It is not okay.

It is so crazy how I have prayed that God would bring the darkness of this situation out into the light where others would became aware of what was going on. Now I see greed and fear coming to the forefront, rightly so. I do not necessary believe in karma, but I do believe the unjust, the ones who prey on those who can’t defend themselves, will be punished. Now or in eternity does not matter, but that is how I am getting peace over this.

I absolutely love the fact (sarcasm here) that when these individuals are done with something, my family gets to actually do the work, take responsibility and undo the damage that was done. Hearing about this person’s tears makes me want to cry. Hearing the hurt tears me apart. In all seriousness, I really am so grateful that we have the opportunity to do this because I love this person so much. I really want to make up for what this one has been through and what this person is unaware has even been done.

I wish I could lay out the details and proof of everything that has gone on, but honestly it wouldn’t do any good. When people are so wrapped up in saving their own butts, they couldn’t care less about the ones they are using in the process.

Obviously I do not hate anyone, but I do feel pretty close to that point. When I see all that my family has been through, I can’t imagine treating someone like this person has been treated. I don’t know if these people are in denial, or are really intentionally doing all of this. But it’s kind of funny how it has been said so much, “Oh, don’t worry we aren’t doing what you think we might be doing…”. I mean cmon. Protest much?

I just need to vent. There really is no good ending or lesson right now. I’m just praying that God will work in this situation, convict their hearts, and have his will be done. More and more will be brought out now, I’m sure, so I hope they’re ready. I have seen in other people’s lives that when you literally lose your soul to gain the world, you will lose everything you had in the beginning at some point anyway. To me, not worth it… but I have learned lessons the hard way and maybe they need to also.


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