I don’t really have time to watch movies that often, but recently I stayed up to watch To The Bone with Lily Collins and Keanu Reeves. It’s a movie about eating disorders- to raise awareness and engage people in a conversation about this issue.
This movie is so. well. done. Of course, there is a warning that it could be challenging to watch for those struggling or active in an eating disorder, but it doesn’t glamorize it by any means. I have heard and read people’s views of this movie and 13 Reasons, about how they both are glamorizing difficult issues. But literally this movie and that show I have lived out. They show that there is no joy when acting out or dealing with hard issues.
I was completely taken back to my eating disorder with this movie. Some parts were so hard to watch, but the ending is so encouraging. No matter what your struggle is, you can choose to live or die. It’s so harsh and many people don’t want to say it, but it’s the truth.
I have heard so many parents and adults discussing how horrible it is that Netflix is coming out with stuff like this and 13 Reasons, that their children are not those kind of kids, and that these shows encourage kids to do those kinds of things. Several people I know have said this very thing and I know that the kids they think are not involved in any of these issues actually are… 100%…. I feel like parents could really use these shows to not only understand what kids and teens really go through and experience, but to look for signs of it all to talk to their kids and offer help.
But back to this movie… it really just made me think. About who I was. About girls who have gone through this that I know. It becomes such a deep-rooted fight that it is a constant battle fighting the thoughts and the lies that develop through this disorder. One person I know is “not active” in her eating disorder, but has the same goals she had in her eating disorder…. you can’t want the same end result you wanted when you were sick, if you are truly healthy.
I don’t really know where I wanted to go with this post… I just wanted to talk about it. This has been a weird journey for me to get to a pretty healthy place… I dealt with this from when I was 10-17, when it got really unhealthy. Once drugs were more important, I didn’t care about my body. But then I got clean a couple of years ago and it all came back.
I haven’t gone back to those behaviors, but it has been really hard fighting those thoughts and letting go of the control. Finding my identity in Christ and having a purpose for living is what has really enabled me to live free for the most part. It’s hard work fighting truth against the lies, but it gets easier. I have seen other friends recover, also. I think that it’s all really up to that question in the movie, of whether you want to live or die. I know that I have a hope that outweighs the worst things that can happen in this world. That’s why I want to live.