I took a break from blogging because life has been hard. And super busy. I kind of am struggling and depressed a little, so I know I need to get back into my routine. I don’t really know what to say today, though.
Midterms are almost over. Yay! Got some girl time and lots of sister time in last weekend, too. My job is getting busier also, which I love!
I’m frustrated this week about making choices and the way people view me. I have done this to other people, so I totally get it. I’m not perfect. I have almost 4 years clean from drugs, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have other struggles I don’t talk about. That doesn’t mean I’m not affected by my past anymore- I am. Of course, I have dealt with stuff… forgiven myself and others… but there are still emotional and mental and physical consequences of everything I went through.
I don’t talk about this that much. I don’t want to discourage people in recovery. It does get easier. It’s way better than when I first got clean. But addiction is a disease that never goes away. It’s always there. I feel like if you’re not fighting for recovery, you’re slipping back toward relapsing.
When things get hard, drinking and using do still come to my mind, but thankfully I have people I can talk to and move through it. I saw a quote last night that I really needed, “When you’ve survived everything your addiction put you through, you can survive recovery.”
That’s all I have to say really… I’m just going through some things and trying to keep pushing through. But at least the weekend is HERE! Happy Friday! 🎉